Hey guys what is up welcome back to my blog I’m so thankful that you guys took the time out of your day to read my blog post. Hope you all are safe from the COVID-19. I haven’t been reviewed any book in a while that is because I’ve been reading and really diving deep into Lori Gottlieb’s book Maybe you should talk to someone and it has been amazing for me.
I found out about this book when Lori Gottlieb was on Jay Shetty’s podcast On Purpose which you should definitely check out, I was really impressed by the things she talked about like human connection, dealing with grief and a lot of other stuff. The book has a little something for everyone so even if you feel like you don’t need therapy you can pick this book up just for the stories that are told. Lori talks about 4 of her patients, their stories and problems and how she helps them deal with their problems while also facing a major crisis of her own. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but. As Lori explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives – a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys – she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell. She tells us nuemorus things about a therapist’s inner workings and how they deal with cases and even simplifies their ‘techniques’ you could call it so that we can use them on ourselves to see what really is going on or rather wrong in our lives.
The most interesting thing she talks about is ‘presenting problem’ the issue that gets you into therapy in the first place, but which is really just the touchstone for what are probably many more deeply embedded issues. The basic meaning of this that usually when someone goes to therapy they aren’t actually looking for the answers to the question that they present at first but actually something larger that is bothering them but they fail to accept. The reason for neglect can be anything from childhood influences to trying to be appealing to everyone and maintaining a perfect image infront of the people. Therapy, she writes, “elicits odd reactions because, in a way, it’s like pornography. Both involve a kind of nudity. Both have the potential to thrill. And both have millions of users, most of whom keep their use private.” If you would read the book and it’s teachings you would realize that somewhere along the lines the cases or problems presented to her are some that you face yourself and needless to say that is creepy making you feel exposed from the mask that you put on.
Before she trained as a therapist Lori worked as a writer for TV shows like “ER.” She is also the author of the Dear Therapist column in The Atlantic magazine. Lori tells in the book that she is drawn to stories and if not for anything else you should definitely pick up the book for the stories told in it. In showing us how patients reveal just a part of their selves she gives us a satisfying collage of narratives. Lori is authentic, even raw, about herself and her patients.
Starting almost every chapter with her chart note on a patient, we get the background to the problem before she gradually builds up from there following her very interesting patients and their journeys through developing a therapeutic relationship, and the slow progress of healing. These are heartbreaking, sad, funny stories, with a message of hope: that we can all fix ourselves even if we sometimes need guidance. At various points, it feels very vulnerable, final chapters especially. And even though I have never been to a therapist, the stories are so relatable. Lori once in a while gives us a view into her job when she describes some of the stress she goes through with patients including how to act when you see them outside sessions, even goes on to share the challenges of clients who don’t want to change. She does a good job of accepting that though she recognizes some of the techniques Wendell uses on her as those she regularly uses on her patients, she has no antidote for them and cannot stop her emotions from being laid bare.
I dove into the book with the purpose of absorbing all the teachings that Lori has put into the book. I would usually read a chapter and then make notes on them then go over them again. After doing this for each chapter I would read the notes of one part of the book (the book is divided by Lori into 4 parts) as a whole. The book also talks about what we can do as bystanders when someone close to us going through a crisis or breakdown and how the methods that we usually use are defective and does not show the person dealing with grief the truth but only what would make them happy. Being people pleasers is a very big problem one that Lori talk about in the book. The very core of the book is that everyone can fix themselves so even if you’re not broken (accept it all of us are a little broken) you can pick this book and think of using the teachings to upgrade your brain, mind and emotions.
So that is it for this post guys hope you got some value from this. Thank you guys for reading to the end hit me up on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn with your thoughts and if you have any ideas which I should write about. Stay safe from the COVID-19. Thank you again and I’ll see you all next week.
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